anxiety

The Timing is Never Right

timing

One of the biggest factors of anxiety that we have when starting something new is the timing. We always want to wait until the “time is right” when we want to do something that will create a change in our life.

I wanted to share a quote from a great book I recently just finished called the Four Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss:

“For all the most important things in life, the timing always sucks. Waiting for a good time to quit your job? The stars will never align and the traffic lights of life will never all be green at the same time. The Universe doesn’t conspire against you, but it doesn’t go out of its way to line up all the pins either. Conditions are never perfect. ‘Someday’ is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you. If it’s important to you and you want to do it ‘eventually’, just do it and correct course along the way.”

If you wait for the timing to be right before you make a move, you may never make a move at all. Great advice to consider as we approach a new month!

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The Art of “Not Knowing”

Uncertainty. This is a topic I’ve discussed on the blog before but I found a post on Facebook this morning from a speaker I met at a conference three years ago, Dhru Purohit. Dhru is the CEO of the Clean Program, a highly endorsed and acclaimed detox program. He wrote on the art of “not knowing”:

Not knowing the answer to a question doesn’t mean you are confused. It just means you don’t know.

Confusion is: not knowing, but needing to know. The “needing” changes everything. The needing is where the anxiety and stress comes from.

When I hear people say “I’m so confused, I don’t know what I want,” I feel like I’m hearing one of two things:

[1] “I don’t know what I want, but I feel I should know.”

or…

[2] “I do know what I want, but I’m afraid of the consequences of my decision.”

If you don’t know what you want here is my suggestion: breathe and slow down. The answer always comes if you are willing to be silent enough to hear it. Allow things to unfold. The pressure of needing to know is going to drive you freaking nuts. A lot of growth happens when we become comfortable being uncomfortable. It’s worked that way for you in the past and it will happen again.

If you do know what you want, but are afraid of the consequences of your decision, here is my suggestion: address the fear. It always comes back to fear. Write your fears down on paper. Be clear about them, don’t hide from them. Give a name and a face to the boogie monster that is holding you back. Monsters are never as scary as they seem when we can see what they really look like.

If I had to put my money on it, I’d say that most people who say they are confused actually do know what they want. But for some reason they are scared. Scared of making the wrong choice, scared of losing love, scared of failing. Being scared is a great thing, it shows you that you care. But when we stop because we’re scared, we don’t learn the lesson that we were meant to learn.

Best honest with yourself. Question your fears. Go for what you want.